Nobel Pity Prize

If you're like me, and you woke up this morning not expecting to hear that the President had won the Nobel Peace Prize, then your next thought was probably, "What for?"

Sure, President Obama has a wonderful way with words, and speaks like one of the old-school politicians from days of yore. But I'm not sure how that translates to Peace Prize. The Nobel committee explained that they sometimes give these things out to enhance potential.

Or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention, since I was still a little shocked.

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised at all, though. I don't know about the rest of you, but I first thought something was wrong with the Nobel folks when they gave the Peace Prize to Yasser Arafat. Here's a guy who spent his entire life doing anything but promoting peace, and yet because he decided to wash his hands a bit and give some mighty purty speeches, they dump a peace prize into his lap. Nevermind that his minions continued to sow seeds of discontent and violence. Nevermind that a couple of years after his prize all his grand words turned into hog slop as the deals he negotiated fell apart at his own direction (to be fair, the Israelis must shoulder their share of blame).

I hope I'm wrong, but I think the real reason they gave him the prize is that they felt sorry for him. I mean, he wasted all that effort trying to get the Olympics for Chicago, and those meanies didn't even give us the time of day. Healthcare reform is proving to be a pain, as is closing Guantanamo, dealing with the Afghan war, and cleaning up the economy. And of course there's a lot of rumors flying around about people dumping the dollar. You know, on account of our astronomically huge debt. The guy just can't catch a break!

Boo-hoo, cry me a river. This is a sad, sad day for America. We've now become the pity vote. The kid you try not to pick last for kickball because your mom told you it would hurt his feelings (I was that kid, by the way). The guy that all the girls consider a friend but not a boyfriend (I was not that guy, by the way).

Last time I checked, this country was supposed to be about working for a living, earning achievement through hard work, dedication, and perseverance. I didn't realize we could get million dollar awards and international fame for mere potential. Clearly I've been riding the wrong gravy train.

Awesome. I can't wait to see what else Real Change (TM) brings to America.