Healthpack Reform

So healthcare is all the rage these days - at least as far as political conversations go.

President Obama has made healthcare reform a Big Deal - possibly the deal on which he hopes to cement his legacy. But there's a problem. In spite of his eloquence, he has been unable to articulate any kind of reform ideas. Will their be a public option or not? Will it be government run or co-op? What does this trigger business mean?

Most of this stuff is not his fault, as all 535 members of Congress have been running around, each seemingly supporting a different kind of reform.

In this post, I'll do two things that our beloved federal government have been unable to accomplish:

1). Enumerate the problems.
2). Provide a solution.

First, the problems. It's very simple, really. If you watch the news or look at any of the polls, the American people seem to want three things (in no particular order):

A. Tort reform. It's not rocket science. "Healthcare" lawyers (like John Edwards before he was a senator) see the insurance companies as giant pots of gold - money for the taking. All they need is fifteen minutes and a client willing to sue his or her doctor for forgetting to order that MRI. Most of us understand that such a mentality can't continue, and that if we just clamped down a little on these freeloaders (without squashing the rights of patients - there's always that fine balance), then we'd save literally tons of money.

For example, I have a friend who is an anesthesiologist. When he finally becomes a full-fledged one, he'll command what seems like an outrageous salary - until you learn that fully half of it must go to malpractice insurance. And that's before taxes. Clearly, something is broken there.

B. Pre-existing conditions. It's just not right that someone should be denied the ability to go see the doctor if they get the flu simply because they're diabetic, or have leukemia, or any of a thousand other things. I don't really see how this will help drive down costs, but it should be done because it's the right thing to do.

C. Interstate healthcare. This is absolutely ridiculous as well. Why can't we buy insurance from the company with the best price? I live in New Jersey, which until recently had absolutely obscene car insurance prices because of the socialized way in which they tried to provide coverage to "everyone." What ended up happening is that folks tried to drop off the radar and drive without it - thus continually driving up everyone else's premiums.

Not to mention companies pulled out of the state altogether, which reduced competition, which drove up prices. And finally shady fly-by-night companies sprang up everywhere offering cheap insurance for those who couldn't afford it. You can guess what happened to those folks when they got into an accident or needed help otherwise.

It's similar with health insurance companies, only for some reason we've accepted it as normal in all 50 states. Company A might be able to give me better coverage at a lower price, but because they're in Nevada and I'm not, I can't buy from them. That is stupid. There are no good reasons for keeping something like that going.

So those are the things that need fixing. Now for the fixer!

Healthpacks.

That's right. Those universal items we find in almost every video game. You can be dying of multiple gunshot wounds to the torso, yet if you find a little box with a red plus on it, you are immediately back in the game. Similarly, you can be fighting intergalactic baddies across the cosmos, lose an arm and a leg, and yet when that familiar white box comes into view, you know the day will only get brighter. Been poisoned? Find a healthpack. Running out of air? Find a healthpack. Armor levels low because you've taken one too many missiles to the face? Find a healthpack.

Honestly, how hard could it be to engineer something like this? And once mass-produced, they'd be cheap as free. That alone would save untold billions a year. Maybe even trillions. You'd only have to go to the doctor for really serious problems - diseases or conditions that require a cutscene, such as being invaded by nanobots or some kind of space bacteria.

Dean Kamen invented a scooter that balances on two wheels. That's pretty dumb. Next he invented a machine that can turn muddy, toxic sludge into pure drinking water for pennies a day. That's pretty awesome. I think President Obama should make him the Technology/Healthpack czar and set him to work inventing the healthpack.

Tomorrow the president will address a joint session of Congress to try and get the healthcare train back on track. It'll be interesting to see if he's noticed the three main issues, which I have conveniently bulleted here. I'll also be watching out for the healthpack. It's time America had decent, reliable and affordable healthcare for all, and only the healthpack can provide it.